I'm living a common American immigrant story. My parents came to this country with nothing except two young boys, a soon-born girl and a shared dream for a better life. Early on, they realized that to achieve the success they came here for they needed to get to work and get educated. They put themselves through night school while working first shift at factories. I vividly remember how proud they were strutting across the stage of the Westchester County Convention Center to receive their bachelor's degree diplomas.
They didn't do everything right, but they did the best they could under the pressure of adapting to a new culture and language, working low-wage jobs and raising three kids. My burdens are lighter by comparison because of the choices they made and what I learned from them about the value of hard work and education.
The other side of that is, the sacrifices they made didn't just impact them. They impacted me and my siblings. While we never went hungry for food, we were often starved for attention. I don't recall them ever attending a chorus recital, track meet or school play, or ever setting foot inside my school until my graduation day.
Part of me wants to feel sad about that. Some people carry resentment for those kinds of choices. I chose to give them grace. They didn't do everything right, but they did the best they could under pressure I can barely imagine.
So yeah, they made tradeoffs. Having lived through the consequences of theirs, I make different ones for me and my family.
Now that I'm a father, a husband and an entrepreneur, I'm intentional about the tradeoffs I make. I've accepted that there's no such thing as work-life balance, but there is balance to be found in the things I choose to say yes to, and those that are a hard no.
Chaperone the first grade science fair? Yes. Drive to Brooklyn 7 days a week? No. Stay up late to fix a customer service problem? Yes. Shush my daughter when she interrupts a meeting? NO.
Those are my tradeoffs. Are they the right ones? That's for my wife and daughter to decide when this chapter of our lives ends.
Disclosure: I write these posts. AI helps me edit them.