I fired him twice in one sitting. The first time I said it, it didn’t take. He was confused; more likely he pretended to be. I imagine he thought he could talk his way out of it the same way he’d avoided termination for as long as he had.
On the second attempt, I was explicit: “You no longer work here.” He finally saw that I meant it, grabbed his hoodie off the peg, and walked out the door for the last time. Time to post another “We’re Hiring” ad. Let’s hope the next hire is better.
We had a rule: always have two people for hard conversations. This one I had to have with no witness. I couldn’t wait another day. If I let him slide this time who knew when the saga would finally end. The risk of him staying on the team another day was worse than the risk of me firing him alone.
For the sake of this story, let’s call him “Manny,” though this story is about multiple difficult hirings and firings.
He showed up twenty-five minutes late for his interview. The team was split. One liked his experience and thought he could help. The other was shocked we were still considering him after his poor first impression. I broke the tie and offered Manny the job. We were desperate for help, he was the best we could find on short notice, and bonus, he lived nearby.
On paper, Manny came with impeccable credentials. His resume claimed he could do the job we needed. He’d done it other places. He tried and proved he couldn’t. I suggested we could have him handle a delicate process for our toughest client. “You sure?” asked his supervisor. “Worth a try,” I said.
Manny turned out to be good at that task. But only when he bothered to show up. There are only so many ways you can spin, “I forgot to turn on my alarm” and make it sound plausible. Each of his ways was less believable than the last.
By month two, the team was ready to cut our losses and move on. Our best employee walked out and said I was “too nice” after I didn’t reprimand Manny for not doing his job. We had bigger priorities to handle that day. We still needed Manny to pick up the slack.
By month four, he was making everyone around him uncomfortable. His incessant prodding into others’ personal lives and his claims of “I don’t need this place” became background noise we needed to stop. But we were still short-staffed and desperate, so we didn’t part ways. A frank conversation about boundaries helped somewhat.
He survived another three months of incompetence while I fixed bigger problems. He skated by and everyone knew it.
Month seven, we were momentarily stable and he was no better at managing time. He was thirty minutes late on a Monday, forty-five on a Tuesday, and on Wednesday didn’t show up at all. That was it, no excuses for not firing him, or maybe he wouldn’t show up again and we could all move on.
Nope. He came back as though nothing happened. Time for our final chat.
I asked, “What happened this time?”
He responded, “I had to deal with some personal stuff.”
“This isn’t working out.”
“But I’m great at my job.”
“You’re not and you’re late every time.”
“But I live close, I can change if you give me a chance.”
“That’s the point. You’ve had your last chance.”
“You need me.”
“I don’t. Not like this.”
It went on, until: “Stop. You no longer work here.”
I sometimes think back on that maddening conversation. I wonder what I could have done better. I contemplate how it could have been different. I end on the same conclusion.
It’s easy to blame this collective “him” for the problems we had. He was bad in a job he shouldn’t have had. That was his part of the problem. My part was more consequential. I wasn’t doing the job that only I owned.
I delayed the inevitable for what seemed like good reasons and with good intentions. I hired him because we needed immediate help. I moved him to a new role when he couldn’t do what I hired him to do. I let lateness become the standard for the team. Those are all on me.
I let our workplace get toxic by being “too nice.” The boss’s worst job is to be the bad guy so everyone else can do theirs.
Are you ever “too nice”?
Disclosure: I write these posts. AI helps me edit them.